Every challenge feels different when you adjust the lens you’re looking through. Managing expectations is one of the most powerful tools for staying grounded during tough times.
I recently observed someone go through a very pressured time at work. As a Director of a small new business, he was responsible for the onboarding of a large client. This required his expertise and dedicated attention for a few weeks. The load was heavy, and the queries seemed relentless.
All he wanted was work/life balance, to find some time to exercise and be with his friends.
He wanted the new client that had taken months to acquire, and he was happy to do the work, but wanted it on his terms.
The stress of it all started affecting his health, he developed flu-like symptoms and generally began feeling exhausted, as you can imagine.
We had a conversation in which I suggested he adjust his expectations, if only for the present situation.
He reassessed and made the decision to focus on attending to what was most important in that moment. And instead of wanting a little time to “look after himself” he resolved to take a week for himself when the new client was settled. A whole week for himself to just recoup and rest and do whatever he wanted.
As soon as he changed his expectations, his stress levels dropped. “The flu cleared up”. He was still stretched thin and working incredibly long hours. But by changing the one thing he could control – his expectations – he was able to get a better handle on the situation. By focusing on what needed to be done and getting through the load, while holding on to the expectation that it would eventually stop and he would enjoy a week for himself to regain his balance, he got more done and was happier doing it.
So, he stopped wanting the situation to change and expecting time off for balance, time that, if he was honest with himself, he didn’t practically have.
Let’s be clear, the balance is important. No, it’s vital! But it cannot always be a constant, daily thing. It’s about prioritising what matters, managing your expectations, and taking the pressure off yourself to achieve everything all at once.
Simple skills learned from YQ, and the tools he had built up some time back helped him cope:
By checking in on his values, working through what mattered to him, filtering what was doable and focussing on what needed to be done, he could adjust his output, let go, even just temporarily, and the result was that he changed his experience for the better.
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Join the YQ community — where every programme is tailor-made to give you the tools for a better life experience
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